


Bravery, Strength, and Love

by Diary



Category: The Normal Heart (2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bechdel Test Fail, Canon Gay Character, Conversations, Domestic Fluff, Established Felix Turner/Ned Weeks, Established Relationship, Family, Late Night Conversations, Light Angst, Love, M/M, Male Friendship, POV Felix Turner, POV Male Character, POV Queer Character, Past Suicide Attempt, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-04
Updated: 2016-05-04
Packaged: 2018-06-06 10:23:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6750079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Diary/pseuds/Diary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU. In some other universe, one or both of them gets sick. Complete.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bravery, Strength, and Love

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own The Normal Heart.

Ned always wears his bracelet, even in the shower.

One day, Felix gets up the courage to touch it. “Is there a story here?”

He’s uneasy at the dull look in Ned’s eyes. “Not a good one,” is the distant reply.

Almost immediately, Ned snaps out of the memory or old, bad feelings, the light returns to his eyes, and he changes the subject.

Felix lets him.

…

In some other universe, one or both of them gets sick.

The thought is persistent in Felix’s head, and every day, he thanks God this isn’t some other universe.

…

Sam likes to sleep with them, and Ned seems surprised Felix doesn’t mind.

“Your other boyfriends minded?”

Ned shrugs. “Most of them didn’t stay the night. And I never lived with any of them.”

Felix is surprised. With both his ex-wife and his ex-boyfriend, there was a period of rocky adjustments and fights.

The lotion she wore to bed irritated his nose, and his stealing the covers and wrapping around her at night bothered her. He was tidy, and his ex wasn’t.  He was usually good about it, but he occasionally left the toilet seat up, and she sometimes forgot to readjust the showerhead back to the way he liked when she done with her shower. His ex insisted on keeping long overdue food in the fridge, and he ran up their telephone bill. When it came to her and him, disagreements about how best to raise their son grew as the years went on.

Things aren’t completely smooth with him and Ned, but it’s easier than Felix has ever had it before.

Ned constantly has people over and gets antsy if the ice-cream in the freezer runs low. They like different news stations, and Felix still runs up the telephone bill. Ned often forgets to wash his toothbrush, and according to Ned, Felix uses too many towels to dry off with.

Otherwise, there’s little trouble.

Ned doesn’t sleep under the sheets unless it’s truly cold outside, and he’s usually the one to wrap around Felix. When he doesn’t, though, he’s never complained about Felix wrapping around him. The toilet seat and showerhead aren’t a problem, and each Saturday, they go through the fridge and freezer, throw out anything out-of-date, decide what they’re going to want for the week, make a list of what they need, and go shopping.

…

Ned’s activism eventually gets him arrested, and while Felix makes no secret of how exasperated he is, he finds himself shocked when, after bailing Ned out and taking him home, Ned quietly asks, “Are you going to leave?”

“I think I missed something somewhere. I’m kind of afraid of what I might have missed. Did you suddenly discover you were completely unhappy and just hadn’t gotten around to telling me until right now, or?”

Making a face, Ned half-laughs, half-sighs. “I know I’m- most people wouldn’t put up with all the things I say and do. Especially when jail came into the picture.”

Sitting down, Felix leans against him. “You’re you. I knew that since our first date. Probably before that, actually.” He considers his words. “I don’t like how you think everyone should be brave. Or maybe I don’t agree with what your definition of ‘brave’ is. But the world needs people of all different kinds. Without all you’re doing, who knows how many of us will die, unseen, unheard, and forgotten? Try not to make getting arrested a habit, okay?”

Ned nods.

Kissing him, Felix says, “And remember that loving you is its own sort of bravery. I’m not going to leave just because I have to bail you out at midnight. That doesn’t mean I’m going to be happy or even just particularly understanding, though.” He lightly smacks Ned’s head.

“I love you,” Ned reverently declares.

“I love you, too.”

…

When he meets Ben, Ben waits until Ned is out-of-earshot to say, “He tried to kill himself his freshmen year at Yale.”

Thanks for telling me. I was prepared to consider you might be more reasonable than your brother is willing to give you credit for, but you might be even worse than he believes. That isn’t something you tell someone without the person in question’s okay, he doesn’t say.

Thinking about how Ned has unrepentantly outed people before, he settles for, “You really are his brother, and he’s yours. I can see so much of him in you. I imagine I’m also seeing a lot of you in him.”

Ben gives him a cautious smile.

Later, when Ned’s reading in bed, Felix takes off the bracelet, and ignoring Ned’s tense body and suddenly shallow breathing, traces around the wrist. In the glow of the lamplight, he can see a sliver of pale white against the darker skin. Under his fingers, there’s little in the way of difference, and he realises he’d probably never even suspect if didn’t already have his suspicions/was told.

“What’s the story?”

Tugging his arm away, Ned slips the bracelet back on. “I honestly don’t know. All I know is that I came out different.”

…

After the lights are turned out, Ned softly tells him, “Part of me is glad. It made me stronger. Part of me hates how pathetically weak I was.”

Shaking his head, Felix moves out of Ned’s grasp, turns, and wraps around Ned. Bringing a hand up to Ned’s heart, he says, “Everything in both of our lives, good and bad, that brought us together, I’m thankful for. I just wish we could have found each other without all the pain. I’m always going to be glad you survived. I’m always going to hate the fact you were brought to a point where you tried. But even then, I’d never use the word ‘weak’ to describe you.”

Ned lets out a shuddery breath.

Felix holds him.

Sam jumps onto the bed and stretches out across their pillows.         

…

Every day, he thanks God this isn’t some other universe.


End file.
